I go to school and practice and work and volunteer and hangout with friends. And I’m happy with myself and the people around. I’m being productive applying to college and studying. Every day is a brand new adventure. I’m still to much of a misanthrope to have girlfriend but I’m okay with that. My life is buzzing and I’m keeping pace with it but I don’t feel like I’m living anymore. Jealousy, angry, and misery defined my life for 17 and now I have an opportunity to let it go and I’m still holding on. This could be the best time of my life if I let it or I can go back to what I’m use to.